Hi Barnaby 
I was listening to some music on my itunes tonight, and Beirut came on. I cried. It reminds me of some very specific feelings. The ex.
What is your advice about music/songs that remind you of your ex-significant other?
If you’d been with someone for such a long time (5 yrs)- all of your favorite tunes end up reminding you of that person. The daytrip, the makeout session, the sex, etc..
It’s a shit-show!..let me TELL you. I am dealing with the issues of listening to these tunes as a single lady, which is difficult, but can only imagine the problems that may arise when I hear these tunes with my next beau!
How do you separate the emotion from the memory/song??
There’s no way to get a new library of music, so what’s a girl to do? Will I ever have a different association with them, other than the ex-boy??
lovelove,
Dedicated
Hey Dedicated,
You’re right, music is a killer when it comes to trying to forget about your ex. But then… to be honest… if you’re in the mind frame to be reminded of the good times then you’ll manage to find something around every corner to make your heart skip a beat – You’ll see their first name on the credits to a film, you hear someone speak in the same accent on the street, you’ll see their favourite food on the menu of the restaurant you’re eating at. And when something like that happens, something inside of you shouts “It’s fate! We’re meant to be together!”.
And you know what the truth is Dedicated? The truth is that it’s all bollocks. It’s just another way for our body and brain to tell us that we’re not ready yet. We’re not ready for someone new because we’re still mourning our last relationship.
Therefore, when it comes to your question about your new beau… don’t worry about it. Because when you find someone just right, the ex will be the last thing that you’re thinking about as you’ll be too busy making new memories with the new guy, listening to new songs, eating new food together and having even better sex than you had before. And when that happens, there’ll be a moment when you say to yourself “What on earth was I worried about? I’m so much happier than I ever was.”
So, in short – as you’re not ready yet to listen to those old songs without the pangs, just hide them away. Not forever, just for now. Frankly, there are enough tracks in the world for you not to have to listen to your old make out, sex and road trip songs.
Trust me, what you’re going through is just the next stage towards your full and revitalising recovery. It’s going to be great.
Cheers,
barnaby
My suggested soundtrack:
Blur – battery in your leg
Elliott Smith – Sweet Adeline
Ben folds five – Selfless, cold & composed
