Hey Barnaby,
I have pretty much been a blank canvas my entire life. I’ve created my identity based completely on whoever is around me. I’ve lived such a repressed life that I don’t know how to get out. Plus, now I’m in college in New York City and I’m not as grounded as I used to be. I’ve lost touch with my old friends and I don’t have many friends here so my question is, how do I become a person? How do I become ‘me’? I know it’s a strange question but honestly, that’s the point I am at right now. I have this ideal version of me in my head but it’s an ideal, you know? It might not be who I am supposed to be. But whoever I am right now is clearly not the person I am supposed to be. Okay, I’m rambling now. Help me out Barnaby. I need you.
anonymous.
Hey anonymous,
YOU ARE A PERSON! And from what you’ve written you seem much more grounded, knowledgeable and realistic than most – so don’t bother striving to be like anyone else. I feel like each of us is the sum of our parts, our experiences, our heartbreak, our friends and where we are in our lives at each exact moment.
If you think other people don’t base their lives on the people around them then you’re wrong. We all have to do it to some degree at least. For instance – I base mine on a mixture of Leslie Nielsen, Snoop Dog and the sound of tight leather being squeezed onto lubricated skin.
Seriously though, don’t worry. You’re aware of your insecurities which is really important. I don’t think any of us will ever be exactly who we once hoped we’d be, and we’ll probably never be the ‘me’ we’d like to be either. But it sounds like you’re open to the possibility of following the unpredictable course that your life will take you on. And frankly, NYC is probably the best place to meet people, have fun and get somewhere near where you’d like to end up. I wish I was on Bedford Avenue that’s for sure.
And you know what’s great about blank canvasses? You can do whatever you like with them. I don’t recommend eating them though. Chewy. Really chewy.
Cheers,
barnaby
My suggested soundtrack:
The Girl From NYC – The Beach Boys
Good Fortune – PJ Harvey
Lua – Bright Eyes
congrats on answering a real question.
very good advice.
-Marinda.
Fantastic advice
x
You’re answer was amazing. Very helpful. Thanks for making sense of my chaotic emotions. Before I sent you this question I had asked some other people about what they thought I should do…I even asked my best friend and she didn’t to understand at all. But you did. Thanks again.
And your choice of songs was brillant. Thanks for introducing me to some great musicians.